Behind the Smile: Masking Poor Mental Health

Many of us have become skilled at hiding how we truly feel. We might show up to work, crack jokes with friends, smile at the school gates, or say "I'm fine" when inside, we’re far from it. This act—of looking okay on the outside while struggling on the inside, is often referred to as masking.

What is Masking?

Masking poor mental health means putting on a brave face, concealing pain, sadness, anxiety, or exhaustion behind a façade of strength or normality. It can feel like the only option at times, especially when we worry about burdening others, feel pressure to keep things together, or have grown up in environments where vulnerability wasn’t welcomed.

While masking can help us get through short-term challenges, over time it becomes exhausting. It can deepen feelings of isolation, making it harder to ask for help or feel seen. And sometimes, people around us may not realise just how much we’re struggling.

Why Do We Mask?

There are many reasons why someone might hide their struggles:

• Fear of judgment or being seen as “weak”

• Feeling like we have to keep it all together for others

• Not wanting to burden loved ones

• Believing others have it worse

• Being unsure of how to put feelings into words

  
  

For neurodivergent individuals, like those with autism, masking can also be about fitting in socially or appearing “acceptable” in a world that isn’t always understanding.

The Cost of Constant Masking

When we constantly suppress how we really feel, our emotional load builds quietly. This can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, and a sense of disconnection from ourselves. It may also affect our relationships, making it hard to feel truly known or understood.

Sometimes, people who mask their mental health appear high-functioning or even cheerful, so their struggles go unnoticed. But just because someone seems okay doesn’t mean they are.

It’s Okay to Take the Mask Off

It can be scary to lower the mask, even just a little. But allowing yourself to be seen, gently and safely, can be the first step toward healing. You don’t have to share everything all at once or with everyone. Just starting with one safe person, in a space where you're heard without judgment, can make a huge difference.

As a trauma-informed and autism-informed counsellor, I understand how important safety, trust, and gentleness are in this process. You deserve support that meets you where you are, at your pace.

You're Not Alone

If you’re tired of pretending you're okay, know that you don’t have to keep doing it alone. There is no shame in struggling, and no weakness in asking for help. Reaching out is an act of strength and self-care.

Counselling offers a space to unmask, reconnect, and begin to understand what you need to feel more like yourself again. If you feel you need support and would like to talk, please reach out linda@sakurapathwayscounselling.com