Why Coming to Counselling for the First Time Might Feel Scary

Starting counselling can be a big step — and for many people, it’s one that comes with a mixture of emotions: hope, curiosity, and often, fear. If you’re thinking about reaching out for support but feel a bit nervous (or even a lot), you’re not alone. In fact, it’s incredibly common for people to feel anxious about their first counselling session.

So, why does it feel scary? And how can you move through that fear?

You are about to do something unfamiliar.

As human beings, we’re wired to feel a bit apprehensive of the unknown. Walking into a space where you’re expected to talk about personal feelings, especially with someone you’ve never met before, can feel uncomfortable. That’s perfectly natural. Counselling is unlike most day-to-day conversations. It can feel strange at first. But just like anything new (starting a job, learning a skill, joining a group), it tends to get easier once you take that first step.

You Might Worry About Being Judged

One of the most common fears is: “What if they judge me?” This is a very natural fear — we all want to be accepted and understood. A good counsellor, however, offers a safe, non-judgmental space. We are here to listen, not to criticise or judge. Your story, however whatever that may be, is welcome exactly as it is.

You’re Opening Up About Difficult Things

Many people come to counselling because they are struggling, maybe with things like anxiety, grief, relationships, identity, trauma, or life transitions. Talking about these things can bring up deep and upsetting emotions, and that can feel daunting. You might not even know where to begin. That’s okay too. You don’t need to have all the words straight away. Your counsellor will help guide you gently, at your own pace.

You’re Admitting You Need Support

For some, just asking for help can feel really difficult. It might stir up feelings of vulnerability, weakness, or even shame — especially if you’ve been used to coping alone. But seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of courage. It means you’re willing to face things, learn about yourself, and begin to heal.

You’re Investing in Yourself, and That Can Feel Uncomfortable

How easy do many of us find to look after others above ourselves. Choosing to start counselling is a way of saying, “I matter too.” That can bring up all sorts of uncomfortable feelings, especially if you’re not used to putting your own needs first. But you do matter. And taking care of your emotional wellbeing is not selfish, it’s essential.

What Can Help?

• Give yourself credit for considering counselling. That in itself is brave.

• Know that nerves are normal. Most people feel some level of anxiety before their first session.

• Ask questions. A good counsellor will welcome any concerns you have and explain what to expect.

• Go at your own pace. There’s no pressure to share everything straight away. Building trust and feeling comfortable takes time.

• Be kind to yourself. Starting therapy is an act of self-care, and it’s okay if it feels wobbly at first.

  
  

Coming to counselling for the first time might feel scary, but it can also be the beginning of something deeply healing and life changing. You don’t have to go through life’s challenges alone.

If you’re considering taking that first step, I’d be happy to talk with you. I offer a free 20-minute chat to explore how I work and how I might support you. After which you can go away and think over whether you would like to proceed, so there's absolutely no pressure. You can contact me here