Why Losing a Pet Is So Hard - and why it sometimes feels even harder than losing a person

For many of us, pets are not just animals — they are beloved members of our families. They share in our daily routines, offer unconditional love, and provide comfort during life’s ups and downs. When a pet dies, the grief can be overwhelming. In fact, some people are surprised to find that losing a pet feels even harder than losing a person in their lives. If you’re experiencing this, please know you are not alone, and the depth of your grief is valid.

Why does losing a pet feel so painful?

1. Unconditional love and companionship. Our pets love us without judgement. They don’t care about our mistakes, our bad moods, or our insecurities. They are there for us in a way that can feel pure and constant. Losing that steady source of affection can leave a deep emptiness.

2. Daily presence. Unlike some family members or friends, pets are part of our everyday lives. They greet us in the morning and are often the last ones we see before bed. When they are gone their absence creates a significant void in our day to day life.

3. A safe emotional bond. Many people feel safer sharing their feelings with a pet than with other people. A pet offers silent support, never interrupting or offering unhelpful advice. The loss of that safe space for comfort can be particularly painful.

4. Society doesn’t always recognise pet loss as ‘real’ grief. One of the hardest parts of losing a pet is that others may not fully understand the depth of the loss. Well-meaning comments like “It was just a dog” or “You can get another cat” can leave you feeling isolated in your grief. This lack of recognition can make mourning a pet even more difficult.

Why can pet loss feel even harder than human loss?

It might feel confusing — or even guilt-inducing — to experience deeper grief over a pet than you did for certain people in your life. But there are reasons this can happen:

• The relationship with your pet was likely uncomplicated by the tensions or complexities that sometimes exist in human relationships.

• Pets rely on us completely, and their vulnerability deepens our attachment.

• Sadly, we sometimes have to make the decision to euthanise our pet's. This can bring with it a whole host of complex emotions; guilt, regret, shame. Did we make the decision too soon? Too late?

• When we lose a pet, we may also lose part of our identity as their caregiver, protector, or companion.

Grief is not a competition. The depth of your pain reflects the depth of your bond, not the relative value of one life over another.

Supporting yourself through pet loss

If you’re grieving a pet, be gentle with yourself. Here are some ways to support your healing:

• Allow yourself to mourn. It’s okay to cry, feel sad, or even angry. Suppressing these feelings can make the process harder.

• Create rituals of remembrance. Whether it’s planting a tree, creating a photo album, or holding a small memorial, these acts can help honour your pet’s life and your love for them.

• Talk to people who understand. Connecting with others who have experienced pet loss can be deeply comforting. This might be friends, support groups, or a counsellor.

• Give yourself time. There’s no timeline for grief. Be patient with yourself and know that healing happens at its own pace.

  
  

Final thoughts

Losing a pet can be truely heartbreaking. It’s a grief that deserves compassion, understanding, and space to be felt. If you’re struggling, reaching out for support — whether from friends, family, or a counsellor — can make a meaningful difference. You don’t have to go through it alone.

If you would like to talk about your loss in a safe, supportive space, I’m here to help, you can contact me here